My daughter is home from college, and of course, I love it. I miss her during the school year, and we get along very well, so there’s lots to talk about. Plus we both love cooking shows- ha. 

She is very responsible, has a job waitressing in the summer, and tries to get whatever shifts she can to make money- she has an expensive apartment back at school! She also is taking a summer class online, so clearly she isn’t a slacker. But living with our adult children again is an adjustment no matter what your situation or relationship with your kids is like. This is my third child coming home for periods of time (holiday breaks too), so I’ve learned a few things along the way that I’m hoping will be helpful! 

• Unspoken ‘rules’. I never wanted to be a mother who nagged- ‘where are you going?’ ‘when will you be back?’, ‘who are you going with?’ So even when the kids were younger I still technically had those rules- ie I still (of course) needed that information. But my feeling was “don’t make me ask you”! So whenever the kids are going somewhere outside of a regular routine, they tell me. “Hey I’m going to Megan’s after work, probably be home by 11”. Great. I don’t feel like a nag, I got the information I needed, and I know to leave the lights on and the door open!! When they’re a bit older and want to stay over at a friend’s (or boyfriend’s- yikes)- you at least know.
• Make things ‘self serve’. Another thing other than nagging I do not like is feeling like my kids are guests in ‘my’ home. It’s been awhile since they’ve been around, and they may feel like it IS your home more than theirs. But it’s really not. A case in point is our coffee situation. We both like coffee; and I have a nice Nespresso- so she can make it whenever and however she wants. I even have some take out cups so she can make a cup for the road. There’s plenty of food for breakfast or lunch (talk about shopping etc in a bit), so I encourage anyone at my home to please feel free to make your own sandwich!! 
• Consideration! In keeping with the ‘you aren’t a guest here’, is the “I’m not your MAID”. Using the coffee maker example, whoever sees there needs more water, should fill it (including me of course). Whoever sees dishes need to be done, does them. Whoever sees trash needs to go out, puts it out. You get the idea. If this is NOT the attitude of your child, you do need to reinforce that sooner than later, or you’ll make yourself crazy 🙂
• Plan meals together. Just like when my kids were small, we talk about the week, what her work schedule looks like, and any plans with friends outside of that, which of course needs to be flexible. When I have an idea of around how many evenings she’ll be home, we talk about dinners. Like I said, we both love cooking shows, so always have opinions about food. I am also a BIG fan of quality time together, no matter what age. As lunch and breakfast are more self-serve, dinner is a joint experience. We might decide to make sushi one night, grill some fish, make tacos, order out, whatever. It gives us something fun to look forward to also!
• Shopping (and money in general). My philosophy regarding this is that my child’s main priority is to make money in the summer and holiday breaks, and of course have fun when not doing that. I feel that anything that benefits BOTH (or ALL if my husband is around) of us, I’m okay paying for it. So meals for both of us, (groceries), restaurants, and that kind of thing. Because we already bought her car and pay her insurance, I have an issue paying for her gas. Also any trips to Dunkin (more frequent that I care to admit), clothes or other non-necessities come out of her account. However, if I’m going out, I will always ask if she needs something. If I’m at the drugstore and she needs contact solution or tampons or whatever, I will pick it up (free of charge, ha). 
  

I hope these tips ease your transition a bit, and that you have a wonderful break/summer with your child!