This is the first year I’m celebrating Father’s Day without a father.

I remarried four years ago, and have an amazing husband who is an amazing step-father to my three daughters. So I am very happy to have the chance to celebrate him! But I do miss my dad.

As a homage to him this Father’s Day, I wanted to write about the beautiful memorial service and reception we held for him in April. It may sound a little morbid to write about a memorial service, but I think the way we planned this made it so fitting for honoring my father’s memory. It honestly made me feel so much better to think about the ways we could share the essence of who my dad was, because he was an interesting person who lived a long and remarkable life.

The Service

We held the service at the church my father attended most of his life, where his father was superintendent of the Sunday Schools, and where he married my mother in 1952. So you could say that we picked a meaningful location.

We even sat in the pew where he always sat. And HE sat there, because HIS father always sat there! Our family has some crazy lineage in this little suburban Philadelphia town. Ha.

Honor their Military Service. My dad was a veteran of World War II!! (See my Memorial Day post). If your loved one was a veteran also, be sure to ask the funeral director to order an American flag. We found my dad’s medals unceremoniously stuck in a dresser drawer so we are going to order a special display case to house the flag and medals. But having the flag on-hand at the service was a beautiful touch.

Make a Photo Board. This is such a wonderful thing to do, both to honor your loved one and also help you feel better. Looking back over the years of may dad’s life, I thought, “He really did A LOT!” 98 years worth of stuff! Going through photos to choose for this board, you remember the person as he was in life-fun and happy.

Find Memorabilia, ie those things that were special to the person. For my dad, it was football scrapbooks and programs, his poem books, even his high school yearbook. My father was a high school football star and earned a full college football scholarship. So suffice to say we had a lot of football memories. Think about what items you have that were important or meaningful to your loved one, and put them out at the church to display.

Invite people to tell stories. This is another thing that can be so cathartic. Our minister was actually a good friend of my father’s and had some great stories. Inviting others to say a few words is a nice idea, since sharing memories is the whole point!

The Reception

We invited friends and family back to my father’s home after the service. He lived in a wonderful neighborhood and many of the neighbors knew and cared about him. We wanted to thank them, and continue to share stories and memories together.

Table setting. We had the floral arrangement and dishes in his college colors (red and blue), and put his game-day football from 1944 on the table as a centerpiece! Football obviously meant a LOT to my father (we would always play taped Eagles games for him until his last days). So the ball he got as Captain of one of his games was perfect!

His favorite foods. This was so much fun to plan because my dad was such a simple guy when it came to food, but also very opinionated about what he liked, so all of these foods have meaning.

My dad made his own root beer when we were kids! And he LOVED apple cider. Even in his last days, he’d comment on how good it was. “Whoever invented cider is a millionaire!” He was also a baker. Over the years he made such wonderful desserts such as cheesecake, peach cobbler, pound cake and brownies.

So we incorporated these things this menu:

• Hoagies (if you grew up in Philadelphia like us, you LOVE them)
• Soft pretzels (same!)
• Pretzel Dogs
• Potato Salad
• Potato Chips
• Watermelon
• Root Beer
• Apple Cider
• Brownies- handmade by my daughters, and
• Pound Cake- handmade by my sister

Make some little signs like this to let people know if something you’re serving is special to your loved one in some way. It’s such a nice touch.

Order some trays. We ordered an assortment of hoagies, with all the fixings, from Wawa. And the soft pretzels and hotdogs from Philadelphia Pretzels.

Displays. Definitely bring the photo board and memorabilia back from the service to have strategically placed where people will be sitting. We even added more items like framed photos for people to enjoy. Here, my daughters are perusing my father’s scrapbooks and reminiscing.

Happy Father’s Day Dad! I hope we made you proud and honored your life well.

I love you!