We had a hell of a 2025, and I don’t think too many people could blame me for feeling OLD.

First, my father (who I was caring for), passed away at 98 years old. Although it was his time, it was a loss for me since we were close, and now I am literally the oldest generation in the family!

Second, I turned 60 years old. When I turned 30, I was pregnant with my first child. When I turned 40, I had a one year old (and other kids), and when I turned 50, I had an 11 year old. Plus working full time and extracting myself (and my daughters) from a crappy marriage. Wow- my life was a blur.

Now, at 60, my youngest is 21 and a senior in college, and the 2025 Christmas break was likely the last time she will spend a decent stretch of time with me 😢

Also, in 2025 my middle daughter announced she’s pregnant. I haven’t even begun to process the thought of being a grandmother!

And there’s nothing like cold Pennsylvania winters to make you feel older!

All these circumstances add to the usual aches and pains and annoyances of an auto-immune disorder. If I’m not careful, I start worrying. What if I fall on the ice? What if something happens to my husband and I’m all alone? What if I lose heat? What if I lose more mobility or get dementia? Yikes!

How to Combat Fears

What to do about this? Similar to the post I wrote about Feeling Better Alone, these are some ways I manage my aging fears and (try to) stay positive.

1. Journaling. I’ve mentioned it so many times (See my post on starting journaling.) because I really can’t over-state how this practice helps you. Journaling is particularly helpful when you’re facing fears, since you can write as much about the paranoia or craziness that is in your brain as you’d like. No one is judging you, and getting the fears out onto paper is very cathartic.

We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.

– Martin Luther King

2. Planners. I love planners, because they keep you focused on the future and how to make it the best. This planner actually has sections for gratitude, exercise, meals and water intake. It has a daily quote as well.

Setting intentions for your days is really important for overall mental health. Keeping your eyes on a future that you can control (instead of what you cannot) helps with those fears.

3. Exercise, diet, and water. As the planner notes, we should pay attention to these things every day, or at least as much as we can. When you’re feeling old and sluggish, the last thing you might want to do is exercise. Aches and pains and/or diseases like auto-immune disorders can make moving harder, but trust me just a little bit will improve your mood.

Dehydration is prevalent as we age, and is directly correlated to depleted energy. So it’s important that we make sure to sip on water throughout the day. Tea, hot chocolate and soup are great ways to stay hydrated this frigid time of year too.

4. Shut off the News. For years now, I haven’t listened to the news. It is too alarmist for me. I’m quite devastated with the state of our country and world, and it’s too easy to hear or see something terrifying.

Why give yourself more fears and anxiety? I’m at the point that if I absolutely need to know something (like a major snow storm!), a friend or family member will tell me. I don’t like being ignorant about current events, but that is the trade off, and it works for me!

5. Write Down Fears. I’m not sure why I started doing this, but I do it when I’m particularly overwhelmed. The great thing about a physical list is that you can ceremoniously destroy it, symbolizing all the fears disappearing.

Rip it up into tiny pieces or burn it.

6. Get Counseling. I call this my “call to action,” ie when I decide it’s time to see a therapist again for my ‘situational anxiety ‘. I have seen therapists off and on for things like a serious relationship breakup, divorce, my mother dying, insecurities about decisions, and letting go of control. I’m facing a daunting year ahead, so it’s definitely time again.

I love taking to therapists, personally. I figure they’ve seen people way worse than me- ha. I think my issues are very relatable and common, so I’m very open and honest with my counselor, which is the key to moving yourself forward and out of your funk.

I saw a therapist again yesterday for the first time in six years. I’m already finding it valuable!

7. Self Care. Exercise, diet and water intake (#3) are the very basics of self-care that should be done daily. But beyond this, some pampering goes a long way for your self esteem and well-being. I will take a day here and there, especially in the winter, to do a home pedicure (see my post), facial mask, or under-eye patches.

I would definitely splurge on a professional massage, facial, acupuncture, mani or pedi, or even get some regular tanning too. I wouldn’t ordinarily suggest it, but if you are dealing with a harsh winter like we are now, just feeling the warmth for ten minutes at a time is worth it!

8. Change Your Scenery. We have usually taken a trip somewhere warm in February to celebrate my husband’s birthday and Valentines Day. It’s not something I take lightly, since I know not everyone has that luxury. If you can swing it financially and time-wise, I do highly recommend it. You can get some reasonable Florida flights; we hit Lauderdale by the Sea last year and it was fabulous. Honestly just a long weekend or a three or four night trip is plenty for us to feel recharged.

If you can’t spare much time or money, I do urge you to go somewhere new and different anyway, just keep it more simple. Instead of a plane trip this year, we’re going to do a night at a couples’ resort. It’s a little expensive but not as much as we’d spend on a bigger trip, plus it’s about an hour car-ride away.

Check into a hotel near you with an indoor pool, sauna or hot tub, and/or restaurant and bar- so you don’t need to leave for a day or two. Just that small change will improve your mood.

9. Get Some Encouragement. If you have friends or colleagues who are also in their ‘second acts’, take the time to commiserate, getting fresh perspectives about aging. Meet them for drinks or a meal, or better yet, invite them over where you can really be real. If you don’t have this kind of support system, consider articles and books that share information and inspire you, like this one!

Consider Joining AARP. It’s the ultimate organization to find like-minded (old) people! I got a membership for me and my husband (you can be on the same account) just this past Christmas. He is almost 62, and whenever we saw the ads, he’d ask ‘why don’t we join that?’

It’s more informative than I expected. Articles and tips on finances, careers, travel, taxes…even discounts, events, and connections. Online events like exercise classes are perfect for those of us working from home too.

10. Look Forward to Something. Anything! I saved this for last because I think it’s the most important.

I feel worse about being older on days I don’t do anything. I don’t exercise, make plans, or otherwise engage with the world. Even with the temperatures brutally low right now, don’t forget that you can make plans this time of year too.

Get something fun on your calendar/planner that makes you excited about it. A football game with some wings maybe? Last weekend we went to a winery for boozy hot chocolate flights, and to a local pizza place to hear live music. There’s always something going on if you look around!

Having something to look forward to puts a little pep in your step. And being around people helps you feel a bit less isolated. I hope you enjoy something fun this weekend! We have our couples’ resort booked for mid-February, and it has a sauna, whirlpool and fireplace in the room! I’d say that’s quite a thing to look forward to, for sure!

Do you have some tried and true ways you (try to) fight feeling older? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you!