After Your Kids Leave

I know first-hand that after a fun-filled summer with kids here, it’s bittersweet when they return to college, and that time can leave a pretty big void for us mothers. I’m home by myself a lot, and since I am determined to NOT be depressed, these are some things I practice to feel good

See my post When Kids Head Back to College for my routine of meditation, yoga, journaling, etc. These things are really important for self-care, so do them if you can. Those below are more practical tips for getting you back into a positive mindset, where you can focus on you.

• Pitch unhealthy foods. Young adults and teenagers can pretty much eat whatever they want- at least mine can. I’ve mentioned my daughter and I are really into cooking shows, and also making things from scratch. So we’ve done a good amount of experimenting, like making caesar salad dressing and even our own flavored butters (check-out my Home-Made Instead of Buying post). I LOVE doing these things with her, but…I’m almost 59, and big shocker, I cannot eat whatever I want! I’ve mentioned (10 Tips for Surviving Weight Watchers), that I’ve been dieting fairly seriously, so when she leaves, the caesar dressing, butter, and her bags of kettle chips have to go. I hate to throw away good food, but it has to happen. Having that stuff in the house does me no good- or my husband. 
• Replenish. I went to use some Listerine the other day after brushing my teeth, and no lie there was enough in the bottle for one use. OMG. If you’ve raised children you are used to this to some extent. I think we’ve all literally seen an empty box of ice cream bars or whatever- like you didn’t even bother to throw the box away??? In order to not stress myself, I do an inventory after she’s gone. We have a Nespresso (see below) that we both use A LOT, so clearly those pods need restocking- along with toilet paper, paper towels, water in ice cube trays…restock for your sanity!

• Do things you might not do when they’re home. There’s not much I don’t do for myself when they’re home- I always meditate, light incense, do yoga, etc. But there are things I love, like candles throughout house, that make me happy but I just never do when they’re home for some reason. I’ll light maybe one candle in the living room to make it smell nice, but when they’re away, I also light them in the bathroom, my bedroom, and the kitchen. I use the small votives in essential oil scents, and there’s something wonderfully calming about it for me.
• Music- especially in the morning. I have Sonos, which I love and we just figured out how you can actually speak to it, kind of like Alexa. I have speakers in my bedroom, living room, and the den where I do yoga and have the laptop set up. I ask it to play yoga music, and when I’m finished with that, I’ve been playing 90s playlists (I’m a big alternative music person), using Spotify. There are even playlists for your mood- so choosing ‘happy’ works for me! You can also play your own playlist on your phone through a speaker like JBL. I would not underestimate the importance of music in helping lift spirits, so I have it on in the house a lot; even when I’m working outside. What bad mood will a Backstreet Boys song not fix?
• Food for you. Like in #1, as older woman, we eat differently than younger adults, obviously. If the many mothers I’ve spoken to are correct, we want our food to be presented beautifully and taste great, but we don’t care to spend a bunch of time meal prepping if it’s only for ourselves, yes? I think this has helped in the growing popularity of charcuterie boards- a nice fresh mix of healthy-ish tasty food to snack on, pretty colors, and super simple to prepare. Watch for my next post on assembling the perfect boards.
• Hot tub or long baths. I’m sure I’ve mentioned how much I love our inflatable hot tub. My daughters use it a lot, but it’s weird how I don’t think to use it when they’re away. Why? It’s time to start thinking of ways you can make yourself feel good/better- physically, mentally and emotionally. A good soak in the hot tub or bath before bed sounds good to me!
• A house project. Something you’ve been meaning to do. Maybe cleaning something like the oven. I know I notice so many more things need cleaning now that I’m at home more, so maybe that’s your thing. I recently cleaned window sills of all things. Your kids will never notice or care about this stuff, but if you do, take time for it. We recently got a filing cabinet, so getting files made and papers organized made me feel good. I’ve enjoyed printing photos and assembling scrapbooks for the kids; I even finally did our wedding scrapbook after three years! Scanning slides was a great project. These things make you feel productive and it’s also fun going through old memories!
• Enjoy silly tv. I am guilty of ALL the 90 Day Fiancé spin-offs, and also The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I honesty think they make you feel like you aren’t the craziest person in the world! When those aren’t on, I go with ID and Forensic Files. I know, I already have a bit of a complex (no thanks to my husband making fun of me for it), but it is what it is. My daughter loves any cooking show. I love them too, but we honestly go to those on Hulu when we’re bored, so I’m maxed for awhile. So it’s back to my terrible shows, but they give me such great laughs! 
• Do something creative. For me, of course, it’s my blog, and I’m also working on a kids’ birthday party book 🙂 Even if you aren’t by yourself or looking for healthy ways to spend your time, you should definitelly make some time each week to do creative stuff- it’s so good for your mind and soul. I don’t consider myself all that creative, but especially if you are or used to be, this is something you will be so happy to resume. My husband lived all over the world and country pursuing his dream of acting, and is occasionally in a play with community theater groups. I encourage him all the time to pick up his playwriting and also start a podcast! I really think it would make him happy. A little bit every day!
• Beautify. Along with self-care routines, if you’re home alone I suggest taking advantage of the time and creating some regular beauty practices to boost self-esteem. Things like face masks, hair coloring, teeth whitening. And moisturize, moisturize! These small refreshes will leave you feeling your best. I’ll be doing a post soon about skin-care routines for mature women!

I hope you enjoy some ‘me time’ and feel terrific about your life. There are so many ways we can feel productive and healthy during our times alone. Enjoy!