To help guide you in your “Second Act”

After my children left the nest, I realized the career I had fallen into over the years served an important purpose, it put food on the table. Better yet, I could take care of my girls the way they deserved- we took trips, celebrated events at fine restaurants, and had some pretty amazing Christmases. But this ‘second act’ of being on my own in my fifties has given me pause and made me take a close look at what will really make me happy.

What am I passionate enough about- other than the girls? 

If you’re anything like me, this is a ridiculously difficult question. When the first part of your life has put so many others first, finding yourself is a serious challenge.

In my journey, I’ve read and re-read these books, in addition to meditating and journaling every morning (check out my post on ways to feel better alone). I never quite had an epiphany, but I learned so much more about myself and my strengths and weaknesses.

You must truly know yourself to make your life as meaningful and joyful as you can!! This really applies to any time in your life, empty nester or not.

1. Goddesses Never Age by Christiane Nothrup. I love this book because a female physician tells her perspectives on aging, and makes a wonderful case that the ailments and afflictions related to aging don’t have to be your story! She covers so many ways that women can live more joyfully- to include diet, relationships, sexuality. I felt empowered after reading it, and have gone back to it several times as a reference. I read this outside in the summer, and unfortunately it got soaked with rain so I don’t have a photo. But I will be getting a new copy soon!

2. Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood by Suzanne Braun Levine.

This is a fascinating book- based on the premise that ‘you’re not who you were, only older’. There are so many strengths we gain as we age, and we develop different interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. We’re less tolerant of BS, and want the people in our inner circles to help us grow and not bring us down. Read about some very helpful and practical tips to help you navigate this new chapter.

Many women find themselves staring blankly at their life lists and wondering why they are not enthusiastic about fulfilling long-standing dreams. The truth is we have outgrown them. They are dreams of a past adulthood.

Suzanne Braun Levine

3. Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction by Laura Bergman Fortgang. I really love this book because it provides so many great exercises that really force you to think about yourself and what you could be passionate about/love doing. Going back through your life events and how your choices pointed to an interest or developed a skill. Making a list of jobs and tasks you’ve hated. Or a list of jobs you once thought you might hold. Things that other people say are your strengths, and what things people come to you to give them…these all point you in the most interesting directions. In my case people come to me for advice, creative ideas, opinions, perspective, listening and understanding. Between this and other exercises, it has helped me craft an idea of what I want to do with the rest of my life! Try it!

4. The Swedish Death Cleaning Bible by Luise Busch. This is a bit of a morbid term, but this concept is catching on in the world because it just makes sense. Getting rid of things may sound easy, but it is far from it. She walks you through it and helps deal with the emotional baggage we can attach to things. I’m planning to write a full blog post on tis topic, because I am doing this right now, in my own home and my father’s. It honestly helps me to know I’m sparing my children the angst of having to clean out so much of my STUFF one day.

5. The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins.

Ms. Robbins has become quite a popular motivational speaker the past few years, because she is crazy passionate about her beliefs. Talk about the simplest concept- counting backwards from five to zero, then taking action. As simple as that. It’s human nature to procrastinate when we don’t feel like doing something. No one feels like doing things that are hard, scary or uncertain, but we must if we are to grow and move forward. I actually brought this book on my recent vacation, and my husband (Mr. Five Million Excuses) actually read some of it, and I feel it’s made a difference in his motivation.

She really does makes you feel you are not alone in being un-motivated. She gives lots of pep talks and testimonials from people who have been pretty remarkably helped by this one very small motivational trick.

I don’t know when we all bought into the idea that you must “feel” eager, or “feel” motivated to act. It’s complete garbage. The moment it’s time to assert yourself, you will not feel motivated. In fact, you won’t feel like doing anything at all. If you want to improve your life, you’ll need to get off your rear end and kick your own butt.

Mel Robbins

I really hope these books inspire you! Finding your purpose and passions, getting motivated, and being the unique person you are right now…these are all positive messages for us mature moms to hear.

Let me know if you recommend any books that inspire you!