Tips from a Mature Traveler

We are preparing for an interesting 60th (gulp) birthday trip next week. As we start planning to travel as older adults (see my post on tips for mature travelers), I also must prepare for the flight itself.

I am deathly afraid of flying. It may be surprising to hear since I’m writing about some cool mature traveler itineraries, like Arizona (see my post on our trip!). I also have mentioned that we try to travel every November and February to somewhere on the bucket list, and those places are usually far enough away that we need to fly.

He has no issues, but as much as he might want to, he can’t make me any less scared. That’s really up to me. Here are some tools I use to get through it!

Distract Yourself

It’s important to distract yourself as much as possible from the reality that you’re in a machine thousands of feet off the ground, driven by someone you don’t know, who has your entire life in his or her hands! These things help me get my mind off that fact.

Movies. I will often complain about airlines, and how much worse many things are today compared to years ago (paying to check a bag?), but one good thing has been that there is now a huge selection of free movies. Remember when they were only playing one movie (that they chose), and you had to pay to see it? I love the screens on the back of the seats in front of you. There is usually a pretty decent selection of movies, old and new, as well as TV shows.  Occupying myself for two hours? Perfect.

Reading and Listening. If you’re a reader, a book or Kindle can serve as the same sort of distraction, or maybe a playlist or podcast on your iPhone. I really recommend researching podcasts to find topics that resonate with you. I got hooked on Oprah’s “Super Soul Conversations”. I love it, and it keeps my attention which is key. Here’s a little description, if you’re interested.

Hear Oprah’s personal selection of her interviews with thought-leaders, best-selling authors, spiritual luminaries, as well as health and wellness experts.

Conversation. If you’re traveling with someone, it can help to get engrossed in a good conversation. Bless him, my husband tries to do this every trip and it never works when I’m at the height of anxiety. It was nice sitting next to my daughter on a long flight to Hawaii, finding out all sorts of interesting tidbits about her life!

Get Comfortable

The tight environment where you are forced to sit (often for many hours) gives me even more anxiety, so I try to control what I can to make me a little happier and ease tension.

Space. I have claustrophobia, which can get quite bad. Given the cramped quarters on airplanes, it’s important that I manage it and not make myself any more distressed. I splurge on the extra legroom, and it helps me immensely. Unfortunately we can’t afford first class (why is it THAT expensive suddenly?), but the economy plus that puts me in the exit aisle or the bulkhead works fine. You often have to trade the extra space for a place to keep your bag on the floor, but it’s totally worth it to me.

The only drawback is that, since my husband isn’t claustrophobic (or afraid of flying), he will take a cheaper coach seat, so on longer flights we won’t sit together. On shorter flights in regular coach, I must have an aisle seat!

Temperature. I find airplanes to be either too hot or cold, and never a good in-between. Use blankets or even little hand warmers on your neck if cold, and ask your neighbor if they’re ok with a little of the artificial air if too warm. When dressing for the plane, definitely layer- see next section.

Clothing. I can’t think of anything much worse than having tight or binding clothes when I’m trying to relax. My go-to outfit for plane travel is a stretchy skirt and long sleeve shirt. This looks cute and is super comfortable, too. Either this or a comfortable dress. A pair of short socks (so you’re not standing on bare feet at security and your feet stay warm) or tights and sneakers or Skechers. A light sweater on top of this works perfectly- since often it’s cold leaving Pennsylvania and warm wherever we’re going (Florida, Arizona, California). It’s so versatile depending on how warm or cool I’m feeling.

Blocking Sight and Sound. Ear phones of any kind are key to block out the noise of the engines and keep you living in your own protected world. Eye shades are nice too, and really essential if you are a napper. (I wish I was!)

Medicate

I have absolutely no problem with anything that helps relax me on a flight. It’s a temporary situation to get through, and if I have to self-medicate I will do that if it works!

Patches. I found this patch you put on the inside of your wrist that is supposed to calm nerves, using things like magnesium and chamomile. You apply it 20-30 minutes before the flight and it can stay on up to eight hours. I honestly think just the act of using it is like a placebo, since I feel like I’m actively doing something about my anxiety.

Supplements and medicines. You may be into using hemp, Ashwaganda or another supplement/herb that mellows you out a bit similar to the patch. CBD is actually known to help with anxiety, and it’s widely accessible these days. Some medications like Xanax can be helpful too. I have had a doctor prescribe it when I need to get an MRI (claustrophobia), and it has relaxed me nicely.

Alcohol. It definitely works to calm me down, although it doesn’t have that effect on everyone. If you don’t drink, no worries, but I haven’t made any secret of the fact that I’m someone who fancies a cocktail (see my post summer cocktails and mocktails) or a nice glass of wine (see my post on sav blancs).

If you do drink alcohol, a trick I learned in years of flying was to get a bunch of the small sized bottles at the liquor store- they even sell them in packs of like 12. They can go through TSA in your carry-on bag since they are under the 3.4 oz requirement for liquids. Then, you’ll have them at your disposal when you’re on the plane. Instead of paying for a cocktail. Just pour one (or more) bottles into the soda that comes around when it’s snack time. No one is the wiser, and you have a chance to relax a bit more.

Observe Others

Look at flight attendants. When I’m particularly stressed from too much turbulence, I figure the attendants have so much experience with it that if there’s really an actual problem, you will know from their behavior. I think it’s almost funny when the plane is shaking like crazy and they’re smiling and serving drinks. It can’t be as bad as I’m imagining I guess!

Listen to the pilot. What I said about not knowing the pilot (who has my life in his hands) is a scary feeling for sure. I really like when the pilots come on the speaker to tell you what kind of flight they’re expecting, the weather, the altitude, how long it will take to get there, and best of all, when you’ll be landing! They generally sound friendly, and better yet, competent with everything under control. I especially like, if there IS turbulence, the pilot explaining why and how long he expects it to last. Not having an explanation, again, makes your mind start making up terrible stuff.

Other passengers. I like to look at those people on the plane who you can tell are seasoned travelers. Like the businessmen who travel for work all the time. They are so relaxed, doing work on their laptops and answering messages or whatever. Or people actually sleeping!

Move

Get up on occasion. For a longer flight I think it’s important for your circulation, but also to look around at those other passengers I mentioned above. Walking around also gives you a little sense of stability, like you’re just walking down the hall at your house. It’s somewhat comforting.

Stretches are helpful to loosen up tightness in shoulders and hips where we often hold our stress. Shoulder rolls, neck rolls, and some seated cat-cows are great for upper body, while alternating lifting legs or a cross legged stretch are awesome for legs and hip joints. Check out this article about stretches for the airplane and how to do them!

Breathe

I practice regular meditation and breathing techniques, so you wouldn’t think I’d get stressed out about this experience. I do try to put it into practice during the flight with some pranayama (deep breathing). It doesn’t alleviate my fears, but slows down my heart rate, which contributes to feeling a bit calmer.

Apps. There are great ones out there that have guided meditations, some that are even specific to anxiety. I use the Calm app and do “The Daily Calm” every morning. But during times of particular stress I really recommend a 10-15 minute session using an app like this with your headphones to get you centered and less afraid.

Moral Support

Squeeze your partner’s hand. My husband is so attentive to me when we travel, since he knows my fears pretty well by now. On takeoff, landing and in the case of any turbulence, he has my hand right away. I will admit I’ve had full blown panic attacks with crying fits in the midst of bad turbulence.

Knowing someone who cares about you is there with you is the best.

I made it home! I’m always so happy and grateful when we touch down. Do you have the same fears I do about flying? Any ideas for other ways to cope? Let me know!