Feeling Your Best As a Mature Mom

My daughter is getting married in September, and as the day gets closer, we try our best to prepare our minds and bodies for the festivities. As we age, things like travel and big social events can be a struggle. There’s the physical demands of too much walking, standing and sitting; plus going out in public when you’re shaky on your feet and don’t feel like you look that great is generally a challenge.

I was thinking back to my preparation for big trips we’ve taken to Italy and Paris, and how the planning is so similar to a big event. See my post on Tips for Mature Travelers!

Countdown to D-Day

We just saw a few movies about WWII, so D-Day is in my head! Here are some tips for preparing yourself, from two months out. Starting to seriously prepare before then is, in my opinion, something that will just stress you out more! Two months was just right for me.

First, Set Realistic Goals. I think we all have been there-when there’s a few months to your big event… “Oh, I’m going to lose xx pounds!” Then those few months become weeks, then days, and still no big weight loss achieved.

Do not be unrealistic, something especially true at our 60+ year old ages. I have a goal of losing 15 pounds in general, because that is a healthy weight for me. But did not put that pressure on myself before this wedding. When I try on the dress a few weeks prior to the event, that is the weight I really must not exceed in order to fit into it nicely on the day. THAT is realistic, and better yet, doable!

Two Months Before

Do These Things Early!

• Clothes. If you’re like me, choosing and fitting into a formal dress or vacation clothes (like bathing suits, ugh) is stressful. A ‘mother of the bride’ dress was naturally going to give me anxiety, and sure enough, the first dress that I tried was even more matronly than I expected. If this is a process that gives you agita too, give it plenty of time before your event, so you’re happy with the fit and look of your clothes.

Don’t forget to build in time to get formal clothes dry cleaned and pressed as well! Having this ready to go makes me much less worried!

• Anything That is Your Responsibility. I am in charge of the appetizer stations for the wedding (not a surprise if you check out the charcuterie and decor I did for my daughter’s baby shower. See the Peter Rabbit Baby Shower post!). We recently hosted a joint graduation and 30th birthday party for two of my daughters (see my post on Milestone Celebrations) and I got beautiful food trays at Wegmans, so did this again in a larger quantity for the wedding. Ordering ahead, it’s all done and ready for pick up the day before the big day- phew. Plus I ordered the dishes and specialty napkins from Amazon. Shout out to Prime for getting everything so quickly. I keep everything I plan to take with us by the door, literally. 

• Footwear. If you are wearing a formal dress/outfit, you are likely going to need to wear heels, or shoes that are not in your regular rotation. Ugh. Heels are seriously my nemesis these days with my autoimmune disease wreaking havoc with my balance. If this is true for you, trying on and walking around in heels WELL before the event is key to being comfortable that day. Consider insoles if they are not fitting properly. And don’t feel the need to wear them all night! Even for my own wedding in 2021, I had a second pair of flats for when the ceremony was over. It’s a must. 

• Keep your Body in Shape (as best you can). Do you want to be able to dance at this wedding? Walk down the aisle? Help with set up? Maintain some sort of regular exercise schedule so you move your body daily. Nothing crazy, but perhaps a walk around the neighborhood, some yoga or light weights. Check out my recent post on Balance Exercises for Mature Moms. I make sure I am doing these regularly before the event (especially after what I just wrote about walking in heels!).

One Month Before

• Beauty Routines. Get things like a hair cut and color done well in advance. You want to give your hair a bit of grow out time, and don’t want to rush to make any appointments at the last minute. I have waited too long in the past and been out of luck in getting my favorite stylist.

Do not do anything crazy or different beauty-wise! I thought getting a deep conditioning treatment for my wedding day was a great idea- but it made my hair almost too conditioned to the point of being greasy, and it didn’t hold the curl nearly as well as I would have wanted. Even a month before the big event is not the time for experimentation! 

Definitely DO practice things daily a month before to enhance your regular routine, since this will make you feel like you’re doing something positive to help look and feel your best. Teeth whitening and under eye patches are two good ones where you can’t really go wrong. Just make sure you’re using products you have used before, so you don’t have an unexpected reaction. Get some ideas from my post on an At Home Wellness Retreat.

• Stretching every day is very important leading up to the event. Especially for us 60+ year olds; we can get tight in our backs, hips, and legs pretty easily. Try a few stretches from my Yoga Poses for Older Moms post!

• De-Stress. Preparing to put yourself on display or be around a lot of strangers can give some people anxiety. My regular meditation and journaling are even more important when preparing for a large event. Getting myself in the right headspace is critical to decreasing any anxiety this type of event can cause. See my posts on Practicing Meditation and Starting a Journaling Practice, for some tips on using these methods to help you stay centered during this hectic time. I make sure to take regular breaks outside too, and read a good book to lose myself in that for a while. In other words, taking yourself out of your environment for a bit can do wonders to recharge and de-stress you. See some funny movies, get a massage, etc. 

Two Weeks Before

• Eat Well. This goes without saying, and shouldn’t really need to be called out. I mean, we should eat well all the time, right? In my family we definitely TRY, but don’t always pull it off with so many schedules and things going on. Before a big event, do try a bit harder to stay nourished. My daughter likes to juice vegetables like spinach on days leading up to the event. She gets paranoid that she feels “a tickle in her throat”, and this is a good point. You do NOT want to feel sick on the big day! Eating fresh, non-processed foods will help keep you feeling your best.

Hydrate. You hear ALL the time about drinking enough water. I have witnessed people having to be hospitalized because of dehydration, so it’s nothing to take lightly. I know for sure that I do not generally drink enough, so have sworn by hydration packets in recent years. First of all, they make water taste better. We take for granted that we even have clean water to drink, but then want it to taste good? I am guilty of this for sure. So these packets make the water pretty tasty, and also enhance the hydration moreso than drinking plain water.

Probiotics. I read a lot about the importance of taking these before a big trip when we went to Paris. Getting your body in a good place on the inside makes sense. For trips this is necessary, because you don’t know what you might be eating on any given day, and you want to experience different cultural cuisines. It can’t hurt to do the same in any situation that is more stressful than the average day, like a big event.

• Hair and Makeup Details. How do you plan to wear your hair? Will someone else be doing your hair and/or makeup? If not, now is the time to experiment a bit in the safety of your own bathroom. For special occasions, you may want to add a new or different type of makeup to your regular routine. A trip to Sephora or another beauty counter might be worth your time to check out other products that are out there. I do recommend this in general, because there are so many more brands that specialize in products for mature skin, like my favorite Laura Geller. The idea is to make sure you are happy with the final product!

One Week Before

• Last Fitting. Now is the time to start thinking about little things that make your outfit shine. What bra will you wear-do you need strapless? What jewelry works best with the outfit? Will you need Spanx or stockings?

• Manicures and Pedicures. The week of the event is perfect for these, because you want them to be as fresh as possible- no chips and cracks! I personally opt for a light color for bigger events; if they do get chipped, it’s much harder to tell. French manicures are perfect for a special occasion, because they just look so elegant, and if you get a dip (highly recommend), you never need to worry about them at all.

• Pack Mindfully. We are often traveling to other cities or even states to attend bigger events, so smart packing is key. For my daughter’s wedding, we’ll be there two nights, so it will be important to bring all the essentials for feeling your best.

Pack everything necessary for looking your best, like multiple outfits (eg, for helping to set up, rehearsal dinner, the event itself, and Sunday breakfast with family) and all the accessories. A small clutch purse for the event is a must for me, so think about what works best for you, and pack your bag with time to spare over this last week. What hair and makeup supplies did you try and really love? Don’t forget them! Remember to keep your wellness in mind too. Heat and cold presses if you need, Tylenol, Icy Hot, a back massager or yoga mat, water bottles…make sure the downtime you have at the hotel is well spent and you have what you need to recharge.

Do you have a big event or special occasion coming up? Try this countdown to keep you calm and feeling great on the big day. ENJOY the day!