11 Awesome Ideas!

After the holidays when I get to spend a nice long time with my daughters (especially my youngest who’s still in college), it hits hard when we get into January and February and everyone is back to their lives.

I spent half of my life teaching, nurturing and protecting my kids. But now that they are adults, it’s important they use the lessons I’ve taught them, and make their own choices. I’m not going to lie, that’s been hard- see my post on “what to do when there’s nothing you can do”.

But my philosophy is that being a good parent is letting them make mistakes and take ownership of their decisions. So it stands to reason that when my kids left home, I did not micromanage. I, of course, want to know that they’re doing well, if they need help with anything, and what kinds of activities they’re doing. But I certainly don’t need to contact them every day or get in their business. It’s definitely a balancing game for sure. These are fun ways I’ve stayed in touch with my girls without being too in their faces.

Visits. I guess it depends on how far away your kids live but mine live a max of 2.5 hours away.  So planning visits is doable, and gives me something to look forward to, something I find so important especially as I age (see my post on dealing with aging fears).

You can build these visits around your own plans, for example we stopped to see my youngest daughter after a cross country train trip (see the post) we took for my birthday. Kill two birds! It’s a great way to see the way she’s living without being too nosy. FYI her apartment and room mates were wonderful!

Meet in between! My daughter lives 2-ish hours away, so we will plan to meet at a really cute town in between so each of us is only driving an hour. It’s a terrific way to have lunch and catch up. My middle daughter only lives a bit over an hour away, but that can even be a deterrent to getting together, especially in the winter. We found an adorable coffee shop in between,  and half an hour ride is nothing!

Emails and texts. Of course, keep in touch via your phone- enough but not so much as to be annoying. I like to check in on things-how they’re feeling, how they’re dealing with the weather, how they did on an upcoming test or work project. We do have a group text for those things that apply to everyone too. The group texts give you the feeling of everyone being home and just having a fun conversation together!

FaceTime is really fun to do now and again, since seeing them in person is just so wonderful; there is no comparison to a text. My daughter will sometimes do this with me when she gets up in the morning on a weekend. It’s fun to share a cup of coffee remotely!

Calling. No one really likes to call anymore. I get it, because I don’t really either. I only really call if there is something pressing that I need an answer- and I will always schedule it. Ie, “when will you be available today or tomorrow for a brief call?” Give them enough leeway and options for time slots. Kids are super busy. This scheduling idea has worked really well for me, because my kids now know that I only honestly make this request if it’s important, so they pretty much always pick up on it and we have our call.

Shared TV shows. When my daughter is home we are hooked on cooking shows. We love shows like Masterchef Australia, My Kitchen Rules, Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen. Especially with Top Chef, that’s not on too often, it’s fun to have a texting conversation about the contestants we like (or don’t), the dishes they make, etc.

Projects. You don’t have this happen too often, but it’s fun to plan something together. Right now my daughters and I are planning my middle daughter’s baby shower. We have shared notes (see below) with the RSVP list, to dos, and shopping lists. Everyone has tasks assigned to them, and we are working together to get this party planned. FUN. Stay tuned for a post on our adorable shower theme and event!

Shared notes and calendars. As a noted above, sharing notes is fun and helpful, especially when planning things together. But even on regular days, the iPhone/Apple just makes communication so much easier with these tools. You can even share calendars if you’d like.

I was able to see things on a shared calendar with my daughter like her job interviews and classes, and it feels nice to be included in what’s going on in their lives. My husband and I share MANY calendars related to activities, health, work, family…it works exceedingly well to keep us on the same page.

Find MY. My youngest daughter shared her location with me-there’s not a great reason why (she lied about somewhere she was going once- parents, know you can use this if necessary), but after that unfortunate incident, we left the connection intact. It’s especially helpful when she’s on her way home or otherwise traveling. Making sure she’s on the road and knowing her location and safety is key. But it is also yet another way to feel connected.

Holidays. Thankfully, I get to see my kids for big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but for smaller holidays when they’re away, I always send a little note and gift card to each of the girls. How about these adorable Starbucks cards? For Christmas, I send each of them a chocolate advent calendar and a basket of treats for Easter.

Gifts and Care Packages. You can also randomly send a little something to let them know you’re thinking of them, and I think making it a surprise is even more fun. Edible Arrangements? My daughter loved this surprise. Amazon makes this kind of thing WAY too easy, I admit. My daughter wasn’t feeling well recently, and do they have a little care package with cough drops, tissues, soup, etc- of course they do! Check out my post on Care Packages for Kids!

One of the funniest gifts my husband gave the girls recently was these adorable socks. Something like this is perfect for a long-distance relationship- he gave each of the girls a pair of socks with photos of the other two! Keeping them literally in their thoughts as they wear them. HAHAHA. They got a HUGE kick out of this funny and thoughtful gift.

Do you have some special ways you like to keep in touch with your kids or loved ones when they’re away? I’d love to hear!